Creative Punishments

Back in my teenage years, I was a bit rebellious. I got my first tattoo at the age of 16, and my first piercing followed just 2 weeks later. These were the first of many, which I now regret, but what do you do?! One day I’ll get them removed. Every time that I was presented with an opportunity, I would test the waters in hopes of a reaction. Fortunately, I never seriously damaged my future.

Image Courtesy of Pixabay

In the early days of dating my ex husband, I “accidentally” fell asleep at his apartment. I made sure to wake up early that next morning so I could sneak home before my mom realized that I wasn’t there, only to discover that my car was missing from the parking lot. I was frantic, trying to figure out why in the world someone would steal my “almost” antique 4 door Honda Civic. After realizing that I was left with no other option, I dialed my mama’s number. I said, “Mama! Someone stole my car!” Her reply to me was, “I know. I did. Now get your ass home.” CLICK!

Anyone that knows my mama can tell you that she’s ALWAYS happy (or at least appears that way)! She always has a vibrant smile on her pretty face, and she is ALWAYS a delight to be around. This particular incident (momentarily) changed all of that. I knew I was in for it!  You know, looking back, I can only recall 2 times that I royally screwed up. This just happened to be one of them. The other time was when I had my know it all attitude at 13.  I started laughing at her while she was beating me for being disrespectful. I guess she didn’t find that comical.  She ended up throwing a suitcase into my chest and told me to get the “F*@! out of my house.”  I TOTALLY deserved it!

Now that I am entertaining the growing pains of Motherhood, I have learned a WHOLE new respect for my Mama. I’ve been hit coming and going! I’ve been confronted with situations that most parents didn’t even realize existed.  Mind you, 98% of the time, I couldn’t have asked for better behaved children, but like each of us, they’re not perfect. Being a mother would be SO much easier if there was a guidebook that had explicit instructions on how to handle each and every situation! You want to teach them correctly, but at the same time, you want to make sure that you don’t cause irreversible psychological damage that requires extensive therapy to heal from.

Anyway, several years ago, my youngest decided to test the waters. He started stealing and ended up destroying someone else’s personal property. So, I grabbed him up and escorted him to the police station. I told them what his infractions were and told them to lock him up. Unfortunately, they aren’t “allowed” to do that anymore. Apparently, some of these dingbat mothers pursued this effective option and later filed complaints that the officers were “too harsh.” Forgive me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t that the freaking point; to put the fear of God in them?! Some of those parents just need a good beating I tell you!

I’ve tried just about every punishment known to man! What works for one kid, doesn’t phase the next. The Iron Chair (exercise) was effective with my oldest, the simple threat of a spanking terrified my daughter, and my youngest… I still have yet to figure him out. He’s had whippings from his Principal, had absolutely everything taken from him, I have prevented him from taking part in our Christmas traditions (which he loves!) and I have even gone so far as to have him pack his bag, and then taken him on a drive informing him that we were on our way to a boy’s school since he didn’t want to behave for me. Perhaps I’ll discover what works one of these days.  Fortunately, we’re in the clear at the moment.

Over these past 17 years of parenting, and 12 years of working in childcare, I have realized that girls are a WHOLE lot easier to raise than boys are. They’re more expensive, yes, but SO much easier!

Now, it’s your turn. What are some of the creative punishments that have occurred in your life, either from your upbringing or from your personal list of trials and errors as a parent? I’m anxious to hear new ideas!

Parenting 101-Lying

How do you keep your children from telling lies? Me? I threaten to rip out their tongues! Would I really do it? No, but it sure sounds good! There are 2 major things that I detest in life:

#1 LYING

#2 STEALING

I’ve dealt with both in my past, and I refuse to allow it any longer. If you can’t shoot me straight, then you can just go on; I don’t have time for you or your B.S.! If you want to steal from me, then you’re just an idiot! All someone has to do is ask…it’s that simple. I am a very loving and giving individual. “Mi Casa Es Su Casa”!

My children were raised with these 2 lessons drilled into their brains, from infancy on. I brought them into this world, and I can sure be the first to take them out!  They’ve tried me on a couple of occasions, and realized that it was a bad move. Be upfront and honest with me, and life will be a lot better for you. They can attest to that!

How do YOU keep your children from telling lies?

The Truth About Parenting: Fact 1

When you become a mother, you somehow manage to lose your identity. You become so focused on everyday life, meeting the needs of your family, making sure that appointments are kept to maintain the health of your children, slaving away over a hot stove each night (after busting your butt at work all day) to ensure that your babies receive the proper nourishment and nutrition, and nine times out of ten, the only time that you can get any housework done is on the weekend, so forget about going out and having any fun! In amongst these years of hustling and bustling, you tend to lose yourself and you lose sight of what your interests are. Your dreams, desires, and aspirations get shoved so far aside that it’s difficult to locate them when you finally go looking. No matter how much you convince yourself that this will NEVER happen to you, I assure you, there is no possible way to prevent it! Your children become your world, the center of your universe, and as a result, everything that makes up “You” becomes last priority, and unfortunately, gets lost in the shuffle. It would be ideal to find a balance, but it’s just not going to happen, so you may as well just accept it. Enjoy the time that you have with your babies now. No sooner do you blink, will you find yourself suffering from Empty Nest Syndrome. Time shoots past at mach speed! Treasure each precious moment while you have it; you can reestablish your identity later on in life.

Do you have any points to add?

Tell All Tuesday Series: If you could magically instill one piece of wisdom in your children, what would it be?

Q-If you could magically instill one piece of wisdom in your children, what would it be?

A-Since birth I have encouraged each of my children to be self-sufficient. It didn’t take much to coax them, as they were pretty strong-willed and determined from the get go. I guess like mommy, like babies! I never had to deal with separation anxiety (like some parents), as I always encouraged their exploration while keeping close watch over them. Over the years, I have shared stories of my life as well as life lessons to enable them to maintain this status. I have drilled, mostly into my daughter, that the only person that she will ever truly be able to depend on is herself. I have encouraged her to make wise decisions that will benefit her life, to NEVER depend on a man, and once she has created her beautiful life, to never allow a mooch into the picture. If she chooses to have a man in her life that’s fine, but to never place herself in a position where she is dependent upon one. “Be able to take care of you and your babies, and everything after that will just be a perk.”  This is the one piece of wisdom that I have been working on instilling in my babies.

How about you? What piece of wisdom would you instill?

Time Out Does NOT Work!!!

So, after 3 kids, and years of all types of issues that required discipline, I hit the wall with my oldest son.  Spankings didn’t work, taking toys and electronics away didn’t work, and taking time with friends away didn’t work…  What was left?  Why, Exercise of course!

I utilized a technique called the Iron Chair.  I have also heard this called by several other names.  But basically, you have your child stand with their heels against the baseboard while their back remains flush with the wall.  You have them squat slightly and extend both arms, palms up at breast level.  You then place a quarter in each hand and dare them to drop either one of them.  They cannot let their hands or arms lower, and they have to maintain their squat stance while keeping their back and feet against the wall.  Not only did this make an impact, but it was great exercise!  Since implementing this as a form of discipline, my troubles with him diminished substantially.  It has been years since I have had to threaten the Iron Chair, to any of the children, and as you know, I have 2 teenagers in the house.  Apparently I’m doing something right…

Time outs are allowed at the daycare where I work, but they have proven to be absolutely worthless!  The kids don’t give a hoot if they get time out or not!  It is a pure waste of time and it is by NO means effective.

When raising your children, keep in mind that each child is different.  What works with one, won’t with the next.  Find what works for each child, and use it.  Earn their respect by not allowing them the opportunity to run all over you.  It will pay great dividends in the future.  Trust me!

How do you discipline your children?

Raising Children: A Mother’s Point of View vs. A Teacher’s Point of View

I was raised to be seen and not heard.  Children in this day and age are given whatever they want so their parents don’t have to listen to their fits.  I know, I see it EVERY morning at work!  Goodness gracious woman, grow a pair!  Like hell am I going to let a 3 year old child dictate to me how things are going to be!  I don’t veer completely to the be seen and not heard side, but I am definitely on that end of the spectrum in regards to parenting techniques.

My children were taught manners and respect, and I have instilled good morals, values, and ethics in them over the years.  I am by no means anywhere close to being a model parent (the PTO mom, the uppity cheer mom, the carpool soccer mom) but I think that I’ve done a pretty damn good job on my own.  They take accelerated classes in school, make superior grades, have work ethics to die for, and receive new life lessons on a daily basis.

I have been instilling in my daughter her need to be self-sufficient.  If she wants that glamorous hotty-toddy life, then she needs to forget about the boys, keep her head in the books, and earn it.  Right now, she has the potential to be the valedictorian of her graduating class.  Her plans currently include becoming a neonatal physician, and her wish is to attend either Vanderbilt here in Tennessee or attend Penn State.  Talk about a go-getter, right?!

My boys have career paths chosen as well, but they are not as concerned with a ton of schooling.  My oldest son has always wanted to go into archaeology, but I have expressed that there probably aren’t as many positions in that field, as fun as it would be.  He is contemplating Video Game design or Forensics with the FBI.  My youngest, who is currently 10, loves to build things, and has the desire to go into carpentry.  All of these career paths are respectable and have the potential for creating a very comfortable life for my babies.  I couldn’t be more proud of them!

Let me just say, there are still some spectacular parents left in this world, and I say to them more power to you!  But, the majority of today’s parents’ focus on what is easiest for them at that moment.  You know the whole instant gratification thing.  They let their children call the shots.  What they are going to wear, what toys they have to have right that second, I don’t want a nutritious breakfast, gimme a pop tart!  Uh, no!  They may get out of disastrous situations at that moment, but they are NOT doing any favors for their child.  That child is going to grow up expecting what they want, when they want, only to discover that the world doesn’t work that way.

I know you all have seen those unruly kids on talk shows where their parents have become afraid of them right?  This is the future for these children and parents.  Why wait until tomorrow to fix what needs to be fixed today?  Children need discipline, routine, structure, and to be told “No.”  I have never seen the like of children that argue with adults.  They need to be dropped down a notch and recognize their place in society.  They are children, and they need to respect their elders!  I was raised with the old school parenting techniques, and they have proven to be tried and true.

Are you firm in your parenting or do you let your children call the shots?