As much as we would LOVE to convince ourselves that we are invincible, mortality always finds a way to hit home. I began noticing slight changes about 5 years ago, and I pleaded, “Oh please, oh please, don’t let it be so!” Sorry Charlie; it happens to the best of us!
Turning 30 caused major distress in my life! It was like that “Ahem, it’s time to grow up dear!” moment. When you venture into that 3rd decade, you are expected to have your shit together. A home, a spouse, a couple little tots running about, a minivan, and the cute, cuddly, family pet. Supposedly, that’s the ideal American life.
At that time I was living in a ghetto apartment complex, was a single mom with 3 half-grown kids, a crappy car that I prayed would last until I graduated from college, and no cuddly pet to report. If I could barely feed us, why in the world would I make myself responsible for keeping up with an animal? S-T-U-P-I-D!
So, Mama thought she would be cute on my birthday. She has always had a knack for picking out the “perfect” card, and this year was no exception. She took me to the Olive Garden for my birthday dinner, and presented me with a pink envelope. I opened the envelope, took one look at the front of the card, and looked up at her and told her what a brat she was. There, on the front of the card, were these words:
“Condolences on the death of your 20’s!”
I nearly wept right there in front of everyone! I felt like a failure, short changed, a burden on society! Why in the world did my life have to be such a disaster? Why couldn’t I have had an easier run?
Since that birthday, I have noticed little changes starting to take place. Nothing devastating, but proof that my age and my stressful life is finally starting to catch up with me. I hope that you enjoy my list…
10 Signs That Age is Catching up to You:
1-When you look in the bathroom mirror, you scream because you see an intruder
2-You have no other option than to roll out of bed in the morning, sitting up is too difficult
3-You go to stand up and realize you’re becoming like your breakfast cereal; Snap, Crackle, Pop
4-You would rather go to sleep than have sex
5-You start diagnosing yourself when you see an ad run on television for a new drug
6-You’re ready for bed before the sun ever sets
7-You detest your children’s choice in music
8-“Huh?” becomes part of your everyday vocabulary
9-You begin noticing those fancy blue spider veins forming around your ankles
10-You start listening to talk radio shows on your commute to work
What signs would you like to add to the list?