The Truth About Parenting: Fact 1

Baby Kissies

When you become a mother, you somehow manage to lose your identity. You become so focused on everyday life, meeting the needs of your family, making sure that appointments are kept to maintain the health of your children, slaving away over a hot stove each night (after busting your butt at work all day) to ensure that your babies receive the proper nourishment and nutrition, and nine times out of ten, the only time that you can get any housework done is on the weekend, so forget about going out and having any fun! In amongst these years of hustling and bustling, you tend to lose yourself and you lose sight of what your interests are. Your dreams, desires, and aspirations get shoved so far aside that it’s difficult to locate them when you finally go looking. No matter how much you convince yourself that this will NEVER happen to you, I assure you, there is no possible way to prevent it! Your children become your world, the center of your universe, and as a result, everything that makes up “You” becomes last priority, and unfortunately, gets lost in the shuffle. It would be ideal to find a balance, but it’s just not going to happen, so you may as well just accept it. Enjoy the time that you have with your babies now. No sooner do you blink, will you find yourself suffering from Empty Nest Syndrome. Time shoots past at mach speed! Treasure each precious moment while you have it; you can reestablish your identity later on in life.

Do you have any points to add?


8 thoughts on “The Truth About Parenting: Fact 1

  1. Just Plain Ol' Vic says:

    As a Father I don’t think I have “lost” my identity. Perhaps my identity is now inter-meshed with my children’s, which isn’t a bad thing.

    I have a co-worker that is single and she always says that “I am such a Dad” which is meant to be a compliment. It is in the way I talk, dress and how I look at life.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Krista Kemp says:

      That’s fantastic! For a long time I lost touch with who I was. After extensive self-analysis, I have rediscovered who I am, what I stand for, and where my interests lie. It’s great that you never lost touch with the man that you are.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. says:

    I have had this very discussion with other moms lately. At 55 years old, I am now trying to figure out who that girl was that I lost. I never really knew who I was and then at 20 I had a kid and was married and then three more kids and 34 years later , still married to the same wonderful man, but I am at a total loss of who I am and what I want for myself. It is so sad that the thing we treasure most, our children and marriages, and are the most important things we can do, also cause us to lose ourselves . I said to my husband recently. Did you ever think about the fact that when I married you, I gave up my own name ? He honestly had never really thought about it. So, that is where it can start, we start giving away our identiy at the alter and then it continues as you start being a wife and mom and putting all the people you love ahead of you.
    I have NO regrets. I love having his last name and would do it again, but would never judge a women who wants to keep her last name either, I get it , it is personal choice now, that we really did not even know we had back then, . and I love being a wife and mom . I just wish I had realized then, what I know now and had worked harder to hang on to what I loved to do back then. Now I am struggling to figure out who I am , other than , still a wife and mom but also a grandma to seven and that is even more kids to love and distract me !!! I regret the wasted years and I am struggling to be the artist that I had the potential to be back then. I just cannot seem to get the interest to draw anymore, and it makes me sad.
    I am trying to get this message out to our daughters but I see it happening to them too. it is so hard and I do not know why it has to be that way !!
    I think the internet is a great thing for young moms today. I wish that had been something I had all those years ago, but 35 years ago when we started having kids, internet was not a thing !! Digital cameras, blogs, facebook,instagram, twitter, pinterest, and Periscope are all wonderful tools for moms today to be able to maybe, just maybe do a better job of it then my generation did. It is still hard, but there are outlets now that were never available then.
    I am glad you are talking about it. It is very important and women do need to undertstand the changes that come with being a mom. Once they get that, they have a better chance of holding onto some of themselves or at least keeping from losing it all like many generations past have !!
    Do not get me wrong, I am happy. I am creative. I have lots of things I love to do . But I miss that passion I had for drawing and for writing fiction that I had back then. it is absolutely not too late, and I will never give up. But I wish I had known then, what I know now !!! My life could be a bit more focused today if I had done things just a bit different !! I just feel a bit scattered and that is what frustrates me most !!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Krista Kemp says:

      I’m glad that you enjoyed the post, and I completely agree with you on all counts! My husband is 58 years old, so I have the opportunity to see things from his perspective/generation as well as from my own. A lot of the conversations that we share, people my age don’t think of. It always comes back to if I only knew then what I know now… That sums it up. I am fortunate to have rediscovered myself at such a young age, but for so many years I could have been honing in on my God-given talents. Better late than never though, I suppose. I, like you, wouldn’t trade a moment! My children are my world, and my husband is a blessing! I cannot imagine my life without them in it! But, I hope to prepare the younger generation, the new mothers, that these things do happen without you ever realizing. I hope that one day you can rediscover your passion for drawing. It is a wonderful escape from reality!

      Liked by 1 person

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